


You Deserve Me

by borntosik



Category: MMFD, My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 11:06:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6702217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/borntosik/pseuds/borntosik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another version of the disabled toilet discusion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Deserve Me

_‘It’s obvious she’s angry with me. I felt asleep while she was downstairs. That’s why she’s abvoiding me. I fucked everything up._ ’ That’s the only thing I’ve been thinking all day. I wasn’t paying attention in any class because I fucked up my date with Rae the other day. 

Now, I’m in the middle of the corridor, going for another boring class. I don’t even know if it’s maths, science or bloody English. And then, there she was. Walking towards me. 

“Oh, balls…" 

Oh, no. She’s not. 

"Rae! Oi!” I go after her. I want to tell her I’m sorry. That I got too much vodka the other day that I couldn’t help myself and fell asleep in my bedroom. But, of course, she seems as she doesn’t want to see me today. I wait for her to look at me, because I know she tuend around just so she doesn’t have to speak to me. I’m a dickhead.

“Oh, hiya”.

“Where’ve you been?" 

"About.” Isn’t it obvious, Finn? Anywhere far from you. The only chance I had to be with her in weeks, and I fall asleep. Fantastic! “Um… I’ve got to go.”

“What?” What? She’s not going anywhere. I want to see her. I wanna talk to her. I want to apologize myself. 

I grab her from her arm, expecting to turn her around towards me, but she’s walking through the corridor again. Leaving me. Again. As if it was the first day of college. What’s the matter with her? I know I’m not the best boyfriend of the world and I drank too much in our last meeting, but… but we need to fix this.

“Stop. Look… What are you doing?”

“Can we not do this here, Finn?”

“Do what?” And afterwards, I’m locked in the disabled toilet. At least, we’re here alone. And we can talk. And snogg for a bit if she lets me… The moment the door is closed, her expression changes. She seems upset, or worried, or tired of me being a complete knobhead… “Why are you being a dickhead?” It’s part my fault, but she has the other part too. This… is a relationship. Two people involved. I’m not good at speaking, although we have to communicate with each other. And she’s like putting the fucking Berlin wall between us. 

“Don’t call me a dickhead”. 

“You’ve been ignoring me. Deny it.” Okay. Let’s face it. She doesn’t want me around her. Or that’s what people think. I told Archie to speak to her. Just because I miss her. She doesn’t speak to me on college and all I do is looking for her, like a fucking puppy is with his master. 

And that face she puts. She’s avoiding me with her eyes. That means something! I’m right. I fucked everything up on our date. “What? Is it… Is it because the other night?” It’s time to face the truth. “I know I got a bit drunk, but you were giving me drink all the time… Sorry.” I’m at her mercy. Even if it’s her fault, I would apologize too. 

Afterwards, she sits on the toilet.  

“It’s not that.”

And then, I started to not understand anything. She seems sad. But if it’s not because of the other day, what was the real story about our aloofness? 

“Then what is it?”

“I just don’t get it.” No. I definitely don’t understand a fucking shit. What’s she talking about? 

“You don’t get what?”

“You’re an eleven and I’m a four.” Eleven? Four? Why is she talking about Maths? She know I fucking hate them and I’m crap at them. No, really. I don’t get it. What is she up to?

“I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about.” Me. The gang. The fucking school. anyone knows what she’s talking about. 

“You should be going out with people like Stacey.” Stacey? What is she even mentioned in this conversation? “Not someone like me.” What? Did I hear right? Why would I go out with Stacey? I did it once, and it was the worst decission I’ve ever done. A big fucking mistakr that was. “Most people when they see us must be thinking, 'Oh, he must be mad, going out with that’.”

I can’t believe this. Is she insane? That’s absolute bollocks. Why would I pay attention to other people when I’m with her? If they had eyes, they’d fond of her. She’s the most lovely, funny, interesting, affectionate, caring and strongest person in all of Lincolnshire. I’d say she’s the best of all England!

“That what?” And she stops speaking. Like, why? Just answer me, Rae! “THAT WHAT!?” I want an answer. A proper answer for that. What does she think she is, a fucking animal or something? As if she had all the right in our relationship. I have feeling too. I’ve got nothing but feelings for her. I fucking love her! Can’t she see that? “You don’t tell me who I can and can’t fancy, all right? That is mine. That belongs to me. No one else. No one. Not even you." 

"So why do you like me?” BECAUSE YOU ROCK MY WORLD, RAE!

“Because I do, that’s it!”

“But why!?” I’M FUCKING TELLING YOU THAT EVERYDAY. WITH KISSES. WITH STARES. WITH MY HANDS. WITH SMILES. THEY’RE ALL FOR YOU, RAE! DON’T YOU GET IT? I-LOVE-YOU. JUST YOU. NO ONE ELSE.

“Just because. Now, are you gonna stop being a dickhead?” Please, stop arguing with me. That really hurts. You can’t imagine how bad I feel for us right now. Just stop… Come to me. Take my hand and kiss me. Forget everyone. Forget about Stacey, about the gang. Just… think about me. All the time. Like I always do with you.

And she stands up again. She reads my mind. And now she’s gonna kiss me and everything’s gonna be fine between us. No more arguments. No more fights. Just me and her.

“Stop calling me a dickhead! You’re the dickhead…” Wow, she’s angry. She’s gonna slap me on the face. No, please. 

I kiss her. To shut her up. To tell her how much I like her. How much she matters to me. She has to know how much she means to me. That if she’s happy, I am. If she’s sad, I cheer her up. If she cries, I dry her tears. She’s my fucking world!

When we stop kissing, she seems better. And I’m glad. 

“You’re a dickhead.” If that means we’re alright and you love me, that’s how it’s gonna be. You’re MY dickhead too. 

“You’re the dickhead”. How am I not supposed to like her? To love her? Look at her. How she smiles at me. 

I play with my finger on her nose, as she does the same with mine. And we’re fine. I can’t stop from laughing a little bit. Now we have to get out of here, so I can show the world how grateful and proud I am of her. 

“Come on.” I go to the door, just pushing the doorknob to go outside, although I end up with it in my hand. “Oh, shit!” I try to fix it, while she waits for me to do it. “Shit, it’s jammed.” I’d like to see her face. She looks so beautiful when she’s happy. When she’s with me. It has this thing in her eyes that drive me crazy. If we get stuck in here, I’m sure I have a duty to do: Look at those big beautiful eyes and get lost in them. 

“Oh my God!” I punch at the door expecting that someone can hear us and try to open the door. Or at least, call for the maintenance man. “No, no, no, no! No, don’t do that!” I look at her, furrowing my brow.  "Then they’ll find out that we were in there, together. they’ll think we’ve been fucking.“ Why is she freaking out? We’re just on the toilet. We were talking. We were doing nothing wrong in here.

"Why would we fuck in a disabled toilet?” Sometimes I ask stupid questions. It’s something obvious, Finn. You’re definitely the dickhead in this relationship. 

“Because there’s more room in here than in a normal toilet.” Look at her face. She’s freaking out about it. And I wanna laugh, but it wouldn’t be right. But she looks so cute when she’s worried. “It’s even got these little handle things. For purchase!” I can’t stop from laughing. She’s so funny sometimes.

“Right, well, what do you suggest?” Better be on her side, although I want another argument. 

“Okey. Have you got one of those mobile telephone…?” What the fuck Rae? We’re in 1996. Do you know how much does them cost or something? As if I have a fucking millionare!

“No, of course not, I’m not a millionaire! We’re just going to have to get help from somebody.” And again, I start punching at the door.  "Hello?“

"No, this can not be happening.”

“Hello? Hiya, mate, can you get some help for us? We’re stuck in here.” I look out Rae of the corner of my eye. Is she okey? 

“Oh, my God…”

“Is there two of you in there?” That’s the only voice that comes from outside. Is he laughing? Because the moment I get out of here, I’m gonna punch him on his face.

“This is not happening…”

“Mate, will you just go and get someone, please?” I was happy. I was calm. and all I can think about right now is  this boy. My girl is freaking out behind me and this “mate” is not helping. 

“Don’t worry mate. I’m coming with support.” Silence. I can’t hear nothing after that. I hope he’s right and he went for some help.

I turn around, watching Rae on the other side of the toilet and I smile at her. I walk a few steps and I put my hand over her cheek. 

“Are you all right? Do you feel good?” I’m worried about her. I’m not sure if she’s clautrophobic but it had happened something similar on the love caravan. It was a small place… And she had the chance to go outside when we were there. Now, we’re locked. Maybe she is and she never told me…

“Yeah. I’m fine. I just need to get out of here.” She goes to the sink, putting her hands on the small flat place. I approach her, giving her a kiss on her cheek and a smile through the mirror. She smiles at me too and I can’t stop myself from giving her a quick kiss on her lips, biting her bottom one afterwards. 

She’s blushing. I laugh. She laughs. I give her another peck on her cheek and we can hear how the doorknob is being forced. We’re gonna be out of here soon.

After a few minutes, the door opens. What I haven’t expecting is all the audience that we had on the corridor. what the fuck are they doing here? I take Rae’s hand on mine, while we leave the toilet. I know Rae’s afraid. And while we’re walking down the corridor she tries to look back at all the bunch of knobheads that were looking at us, but I don’t let her. I make her go outside the building. I was tired of that bloody day at that jail for teenagers, so I approach her to my Dad’s car and I make her sit on the passenger’s seat. 

“Let’s go to the fucking pub, yeah?” I wink at her, making her smile wide and, before starting the car, I kiss her lips. Softly. Even if we had a shitty day, we have some hours for ourselves. And I’m gonna spend them with her. Because she deserve them. She deserves me. And I deserve her. Because we’re meant for one another.


End file.
